Thanks to traditional martial arts training, I became disciplined, humble, and honest. But I also became my biggest self-critic instead of a supporter.
This is my story of discovering my inner strength. Not only for fighting but for life.
I have been training in martial arts for 23 years. They defined and created who I am. 8 years ago, I even packed all I had and moved across the planet to Hong Kong, and last year to Thailand. Purely for my love for martial arts.
Traditional martial arts, which I started with and trained for the majority of the time, taught me a lot about being humble, honest, and disciplined. I started my training with karate and then continued with Hung Gar kung fu. Several years ago I decided to become an MMA fighter. For me, this was just another chapter of the same story. But it brought challenges that I did not expect.
Non-existing baby steps
In kung fu, there are no levels. What does it mean? Simply said, you are never enough.
Let it sink.
We chose to spend our lives in an environment, where we are never good enough.
In kung fu, we do not have (standardized) belts. Generally speaking, there are no levels, no steps, no points in the time, where you could tap yourself on the shoulder and say: Good job me! I have improved.
On the traditional black uniform that is used in my kung fu style, there are two colors of buttons: white for students, and black for the master. 1 and 0.
The problem with not rewarding your progress
I see it more clearly now because of my experience with combat sports. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu has its belt system, in MMA or boxing you are constantly sparring with other people, climbing up that ladder.
But a typical comment of a Chinese master, while coaching, is: “Not enough.“ Or “Not good.“
Which simply means, you have not yet arrived at the correct execution. And you do not know how far from that point are you.
The long way of becoming my own supporter
As result, with being my whole life “not good enough“, I do not have trouble with criticism. And I am an expert in self-criticism. Chinese masters even call this “eating bitter”.
But there is a problem.
I don’t know how to celebrate small victories. And this is very crucial if you think about the intensity of MMA training or a fight. Think positively. I believe I am a very positive person. But in fact, I am not so sunny, I am just good at clenching my teeth.
This is one of the biggest challenges I had in my training and life so far. How to think of the micro-levels I have reached, how to be aware of the progress, and how to celebrate it.
Imagine, you walk to the cage to fight your opponent. The person across the cage is going to physically attack you. You cannot walk in there thinking: “Well, I’m trying but I’m not good enough yet, or maybe never.” It is a mind game. A big portion of the fights is won or lost before the fight starts.
Today, you are the best version of yourself
One of my favorite Muay Thai authors, Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu wrote about it here. You are in the perfect state of what you should know and be able to do, right now.
It is a totally different concept from kung fu, where you see that never-ending path in front of you. Going to test your fighting skills with someone who also wants to smash you, you need to understand that right now and right here, you are at the best evolution level you could be for now and here, and that you have reached many levels already.
And I definitely got much better at this. It’s not perfect yet. But I have reached many levels of my mental game. It’s time to celebrate!
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